Stunslinger.com Blog

My pet peeves include (but are not limited to):

• Anthropomorphized food in advertisements for food.  I don’t want to think that a cookie wants to be eaten, that’s downright disturbing.  And the commercial where cows are bothered by switching to soyjuice (I refuse to call it soymilk)?!  Yuck.
• Calling substances other than milk, milk.  That’s right, “coconut milk” is not milk.  “Soymilk” is not milk.  Buttermilk is milk, but it’s also disgusting.  I call these substances juices, as they are the juice of a vegetable.  If you hear me call the stuff I have on my cereal soyjuice, don’t try to correct me.  You are wrong, it is juice.
• Fad diets, diet pills, etc.  There is a proven way to lose weight: eat healthy and exercise.  I know, it’s a revolutionary concept.  I know it’s hard, I struggle with weight myself.  I have been called “big boned” and “healthy” too.  Still, I know that there’s one serious way to change my fitness level: making permanent changes to my eating habits and exercise levels.  That’s right, permanent changes.  Diets don’t work unless you make them permanent.  This is why so many people try 50 diets and end up fatter than before.  Eat more vegetables, fruits and lean meats.  Eat less prepared, fried, fatty, high sodium foods.  Get off the couch and move around.  I’m doing it, and I’m not exactly enjoying running yet, but I do it because I want to be healthy and to live longer for my sake and for my family.
• People who start arguments just to argue.  This is extremely prevalent on the internets.  Someone posts an incendiary statement, then others respond and the person makes more ridiculous statements.  I like discussions and debate.  I’ve actually changed my mind on topics, and changed some friend’s minds.  But that requires an honest debate, and these people aren’t after that.  Instead of acknowledging what a person says, they pick apart one small part of the statement and take the conversation in a wholly different direction.  This patterns seems to have carried itself all the way to our highest levels of government.
• Hippies.  I know it’s wrong and it’s rude, but I just don’t really like hippies.
• People who believe tearing someone else down makes them look good.  I’ve worked with some of these, been in school with others like this.  It’s ridiculous.  It may work in the short term, but in the end you end up alone and fired (hopefully).
• Spammers.  Need I say more?  This is inclusive of email, Myspace, popup ads, everywhere.  If I want something, I’ll go looking for it.  If I want my “pens xtended bey0nd 1mag1nat10n,” well, I wouldn’t want that anyway.
• People who write emails with txt message abbreviations.  No, I won’t C U L8r d00d.  It’s a computer with a full keyboard, use it.  It’s forgivable when using a cell phone to hastily enter a txt message, just because it’s so annoying to type out words on a cell phone.  But only then.  Note: LOL and other similar, descriptive abbreviations are acceptable in IM, simply because it sounds less ridiculous than typing, “I’m laughing out loud right now.”

It’s been a while since I ranted in a post.  Perhaps I have some pent up frustration.  I’ll never tell.

Some weird/different things that have happened recently:

• I started running.  Very strange, indeed.  If you know me personally, you know that I’m not exactly the most fit individual out there.  Not only that, but I’ve never had positive experiences running.  In fact, I’ve had a number of excuses as to why I “can’t” run.  But, I gave up those excuses and decided to give running a fair shot.  I’ve run 2 miles for 5 out of the last 6 mornings.  Somehow I’ve been able to rack up 10 miles.  It’s still very hard, and I still am slow and walk way more than I want to, but I definitely have a sense of accomplishment.  Now I want to be able to run the Shamrock Run 5K in Portland on St. Patrick’s Day.  We’ll see.
• Our Dish Network is acting screwy.  This weekend our DVR/receiver has been a pain in the neck.  It is glitchy, freezes up, and randomly resets.  Of course I can’t call in for a fix or anything because I told them I’m canceling, since our new apartment has cable in the rent.  In fact, all of these problems started after I called to cancel…coincidence?
• People barged into our apartment.  Obviously, our apartment is up for rent, and our landlord has asked to show our apartment on a few occasions.  Yesterday he had an open house in the evening.  At 11am this couple was pestering us to let them look through the place and asking obnoxious questions.  Do they seriously need to know what all of our neighbors do for work?  Apparently they thought they did.  They also thought it necessary to complain on behalf of their “poor son,” who works 10 hour days with his doctorate in pharmacy.  Apparently this means he cannot for the life of him rent an apartment.  Yeah right.  Ugh.  Then, of course, they were back for the open house.  In fact, they were waiting on our steps 10 minutes early, so they could watch us as we left for dinner.

Anyway, it’s not like things are too bizarro here or anything.  Just enough to be frustrating.  And I’m stressed out from preparing for the move.  I’m to the point now where I want to both cancel the move and just have it over with.  We’ve been saying goodbye to all of our friends, which sucks.  I mapped out all of the truck stops between SLC and Portland, so I can refuel the behemoth 26 foot truck with trailer I’ll be driving.  Last stop is ordering the audiobook of A People’s History of the United States from iTunes.  I’ve been meaning to read this book, and I figured I might as well listen to it while I’m stuck in a vehicle by myself for hours and hours.  Plus, I hear Matt Damon narrates it, and does a good job.

Well, I should (try to) go to sleep now.  Lately I’ll feel tired, go to bed, and lay there wide awake.  I’m being active during the day (see above mentioned morning run), so it must be anxiety related to the move.  I’ll cross my fingers and see how tonight goes.

I’m finished with one job, and I’m getting ready to start my new job in Portland.  Part of this required getting another physical at the VA here.  So I went in Monday afternoon and met with the physician who asked me a bunch of questions.  One of these questions was, “What are you going to be doing in Portland?”  I told him, and then he decided he should tell me that his perception is that every psychology employee he’s seen had mental illnesses themselves.  Ok.  I made some joke about “psychologist heal thyself” and we moved on.

Then he kept asking me about Oregon and telling me about relatives or friends who live in certain cities.  I just wanted to get done with it, so I played along, “Oh yeah, Fairvilletown is a great place to live.”  I did well enough because he finally passed me off to the nurse.

She asked me to sign some forms and said, “Oh, your signature is good enough, you could be a doctor.”  I informed her that I actually am a doctor, of psychology.  I followed it up with, “A fake doctor!” and laughed at my joke.  Apparently my joke wasn’t that funny, because she didn’t seem to hear it.  What she did hear was “psychology.”  I should have remembered at the beginning of our meeting she said, “I had a rough Sunday.”  This should have told me to keep my mouth shut, but I missed it.

I should mention that while this was happening, she was prepping the needle she was going to stick into my arm.  So she began telling me about her rotten ex-daughter-in-law who has a counseling degree and treats her like crap.  Great.  “Could I just have the injection without you getting riled up please?”  For ten minutes she regaled me with her fascinating “Story of the Dying Dog and the Evil Ex-Daughter-In-Law.”  All the while the needle sat ready to go on the table.  Ugh.

Anyway, got through the physical and had my blood drawn at the lab.  As a side note, I had the best phlebotomist ever — I didn’t feel the needle go in, and after drawing three vials of blood it didn’t bleed at all onto the bandage.  I’m now physically cleared to be a psychologist resident.  Basically I have to be able to sit in a chair and talk to people.  I’m a perfect physical specimen.

That’s right folks, I am officially (well, basically) Dr. Stunslinger.  I finished my internship yesterday, which was the last requirement to complete my doctorate.  I say that I’m basically Dr., because the degree has not yet posted to my transcript.  My school has to get a letter from my internship director saying that I successfully completed internship, then send the ok to the registrar.  So it’s just paperwork at this point.

It doesn’t really feel real yet.  Yesterday people were calling us doctors, and we didn’t disagree, but it still felt like a joke.

Now I feel like I’m in limbo.  I have one month until my job begins in Oregon.  I always feel odd when I transition to not working.  At first I constantly feel like I need to do something, and then I relax and enjoy myself.  Of course we’re also moving in two weeks, so that adds some pressure.

Well, I’m upset, but life moves on.  I’ll really miss my fellow interns and supervisors, and the patients as well.  I’m sad…but it’s ok.  Every ending is a new beginning, right?  Maybe that should be my mantra this week.

Sorry about the drop in frequency of posting on my part.  I’ve been pre-occupied with my wife’s recovery from ACL surgery and preparing to end my internship.

It’s very strange: I have three workdays left before I’m done.  My whole goal for the last few years has been to get my degree, and now I’m so close it doesn’t feel very real.  It actually sort of feels like I’m watching something in slow motion.  I wanted to say a car crash in slow motion, but that seems a bit morbid.  I’m actually excited in some ways (which I don’t think I’d be in regards to a car crash), but I think it still makes sense.  It’s as if I’ve looked up from the sidewalk and I see two cars on a collision course, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.  That moment when everything seems to slow way down and you watch on, knowing full well what is going to happen any second.  Helpless to do a thing.

That’s sort of how I feel about the end of internship.  It’s strange, because you’d think this would be the moment I’ve been waiting for.  After Friday, I’ll be able to call myself Dr. Stunslinger.  After Friday, my earning potential will increase dramatically (seriously).  After Friday I’ll no longer be hemorrhaging money to my graduate school.  After Friday, there’s nothing stopping us from moving back to Portland.

But still, I’ll really miss my time on internship.  I’ve been very luck to work with 5 other great interns.  We all get along very well, and now we’re going to be scattering.  No longer will I be able to pop into someone else’s office to chat about some bizarre nuance of psychology or to debrief about a weird client.  Ok, I will be able to do that with future co-workers, but it’ll be somewhat different.  I’ll miss my supervisors, who have all been phenomenal and have contributed greatly to my development as a clinician.  It truly has felt as if they each wanted me to become the best psychologist I can, and they’re not afraid to push me a bit, to that end.  I couldn’t have asked for better supervisors.  And I’ll miss the opportunities I’ve had to work on different teams and in different settings.  Every two months something has changed, and that’s sort of exciting.  I’ve been able to better determine what I want to do (work in a hospital) and what I’d prefer not to do (purely traditional mental health work).

All in all, this has been a wonderful experience, and in many ways I’m sad to move on.  But I’m also excited.  I should have said I’ll miss the snow and the excellent snowboarding.  I’ll definitely be back for that!

So as I’m looking down the barrel of three more workdays (one of which I won’t even do any work, just out-processing), I definitely feel conflicted.  I’m sad to see things change, but I’m also excited to begin my professional career.

To my fellow interns, even though none of you read this:  I’ve really enjoyed working with you all, and building excellent friendships.  I hope we keep in touch, and who knows? maybe we’ll even end up working together in the future.  I can hope anyway.  I wish you all the best, and I’m sure you’ll all become leaders in your respective areas of our field.  Many blessings.

I wonder if it’s made with real gypsy tears…

Looks like somebody forgot to renew his web hosting account…

Sorry to anyone who tried to come read my horribly influential blog and found a generic, “He doesn’t live here anymore” page.

I’d been toying with the idea of switching hosting, as this company isn’t the fastest or cheapest.  But I decided it wasn’t worth the hassle.  And then I forgot to renew on time.

First of all, my wife has an ACL!  We are very excited about this, especially since after the last surgery we were so disappointed.

Our day began wonderfully, with a flat tire.  I had to run in to work for a few minutes to make a quick phone call, but was stopped just a few blocks away by a “whump-whump-whump” noise.  Crap.  My driver’s side rear tire was completely flat.  So I got to spend some quality time changing my tire out for the spare.  Finally got to work and made my phone calls.  I did feel sort of odd walking around the VA in a t-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops.  Not exactly a flip-flop crowd.

Anyway, we ended up running all the way out to Heber City, UT, where Mrs. Stunslinger had her surgery.  The hospital was actually quite nice, and I dare say it was a better experience than the one we were at last time, in Salt Lake.  Of course we had to wait much longer than expected, but overall it was a good experience.  The surgeon’s assistant came in and told us everything went well and she should be back to normal in 6 months.  He said there was absolutely no evidence of inflammation and the meniscus repair they did last time looked excellent.  Finally, good news after a surgery!

Despite all this good, I still have found something to complain about!  Last time we went through this ordeal we were given several pieces of equipment.  And when I say given, I mean we paid exorbitant fees for them.  We got a fancy brace that cost several hundred dollars, and a very expensive (and actually quite cool) ice machine that pumps ice water through a tube and into a bladder that is put on her knee.  Anyway, we thought, “It would be ridiculous to pay for these expensive pieces of equipment twice!”  So we brought our own, in an attempt to save a bit of money.

When we told the nurse, she said, “We’ll see if that will connect with ours.”  Apparently they can’t use the same bladder twice, so they had to check and see if our contraption fit with their bladder - and of course it didn’t.  So we had to put our perfectly good ice machine back in the trunk, and buy another one.  Then, when she came back from surgery they informed us that they couldn’t use the expensive brace.  Apparently the brace had straps that were too short, so it wouldn’t fit over the dressing she has right now.  Double sweet.

So, basically we had two perfectly good pieces of equipment that couldn’t be used.  I will say that the new ice machine is much quieter when running, and easier to refill.  But still…

It’s official.  Today we went to the orthopedic surgeon’s office to check out my wife’s knee.  He was happy with what he saw, and even had good news about the possibility of her having rheumatoid arthritis.  Since she hasn’t had any swelling in other joints, he said it’s likely if she does have rheumatoid, it’s a less severe version that affects just a few joints.  We still get to stick with the anti-inflammatory diet, though.

He was happy that most of the swelling has gone away, and cleared her for surgery.  Yay!  Now, we’re planning on moving back to Oregon at the end of the month, which makes things somewhat difficult.  We’ve found an excellent surgeon here, and we want him to perform the surgery, but his schedule isn’t exactly wide open.  Unfortunately the next opening he had was for September 5.  Crap!  But then the receptionist remembered that there was a likely cancellation for this Thursday, but it’s out in Heber City.  Now, we don’t really care about that.  In Utah, it’s a ridiculous distance to travel, but to us it’s no big deal.  So we wiggled my wife out of work this week and pounced on the Thursday time.

So now we’re good to go.  I’m taking time off work and my mom is flying out to help take care of my wife and help me get ready to move.  It’ll be complicated for sure, but in the end we’ll be back in Portland and my wife will have an intact knee!

Good day.

I’m tired, but I thought I’d drop some knowledge on you all before I retire to bed.  I don’t like spiders, and so I have put my brain to use finding efficient ways of killing them.  I actually thought of this a year or more ago, and have been field testing it before bringing it to my faithful blog readers.  Or, more likely, I never thought about posting it until now.  Take your pick.

Anyway, one of my biggest frustrations is that, while it’s easy to hit a spider that is hanging out on your wall, it is equally easy to lose track of said spider after the hit.  At this point there are three outcomes, two of which really suck, and one is tolerable: 1) You killed the spider (yay!) and squished it onto the wall where it remains (yuck).  2) You killed the spider, but it falls to the ground, having lost its super-spider-suction powers upon death, and you have to try to find the dead spider carcass (yuck again).  3) You didn’t kill the spider, and it runs away, or descends super quickly to the floor to flee the scene.

Obviously none of these options is optimal, so what to do?  I developed a new technique, which has proven more effective at killing the spider and minimizing the yuck factor.  I take a piece of packing tape (we’ve got a bunch leftover from our last move) and use that to hit the spider.  This tape, obviously with the sticky side down, traps the spider.  This way, if you kill it, it stays put.  No more searching the carpet to find a spider corpse.  Pull off the tape, seal it up into a little envelope/coffin and you’re done.  In the event you didn’t kill it, it’s now trapped in a tape pocket, and is easy pickings.  You simply smush, remove, seal and throw away.

Problem solved.  Of course, since I use clear packing tape, I actually see the smashed spider corpse, but it doesn’t bother me much.  Not nearly as much as seeing a spider run behind my bed or something.  Shudder.